yesterday was harrison and my 5 month anniversary. he came over and gave me all this cool stuff like a photography book and some frames and some cool halloween pins, cuz i love halloween.

i'm kind of sort of getting better. hurray!

our house is done and their painting our walls and stuff. they painted my room and junk, so that's pretty exciting.

i feel not good. my family is getting on my nerves so badly. my mom is just driving me insane and jesse is acting like my other mom, and i don't need two moms. and emily is just emily and that's enough. god i want to cry, but i won't.

doo doo doot doo doo doo doo doo doot

doo doo doot doo doo doo doo doo doot

doo doo doot doo doo doo doo doo doot...

god i have so much to work on today... my stupid scarlet letter project and my stupid geography project! GAH! oh yeah, if you have any ideas for verbal irony from the scarlet letter.. TELL ME!

i keep getting really horrible headaches and i get really dizzy. all of a sudden i'll have some sort of pain on my body, especially in my joints, and it hurts so badly, for no reason, then it just goes away. and i'm never ever hungry anymore. what's wrong with me?!?!?

death

today harrison came over! yes! i don't think i've ever laughed soooo hard. oh god. we rented Desperado, That Thing You Do, and some HORRIBLE scary movie that we should be shot for renting.

funny story... so harrison and i are sitting on the couch and all of a sudden he's like... "slap me!" and i was all "no!" because who likes slapping their boyfriends? not me. what if i hurt him? but eventually i sort of, tapped him... and he laughed HYSTERICALLY. like.. i've never seen him laugh so hard. and he just kept asking me to slap him harder and harder and he'd start laughing harder and harder. and it was really confusing, but he couldn't explain why he was laughing.

BIOLOGY! ::throws beaker of chemicals on your face::

god i love harrison.

i haven't written in like.. years.. geh.

i'm at my dad's again this weekend because next weekend.. we're moving! HURRAY! moving into the new house that is. finally. god i'm so happy.. so i think i'll put a cheesy little smiley face.. now..

last night i watched a ton of forensic files on court tv with my mom. what a way to spend a friday night! i didn't get to talk to harrison much because he had johnny over, but it's all good. i get to see him today... speaking of harrison... i saw the gonzo at mac on thursday night. man was it cute. sonny and tamara were the mcs. hurray for everyone in gonzo! and hurray for tamara and natasha because i love them. and hurray for hams because i love him times a million!

friday i developed a really really really good picture in photgraphy. it's like.. this closeup of a flower.. and it's like.. so close you can see all the texture and shading on the petals. man is it cool or what.

(i'm totally loving this xanga premium thing.. if you can't tell)

i have a couple projects to do this weekend, but i think that i can get them done.

oh yeah, for tiffany and anybody else that's curious. that's uma thurman over there.. on the site.. side of the page. That's a picture of her playing Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction when she and Vincent Vega (John Travolta) are at Jack Rabbit Slim's eating and stuff. cool, eh? Pulp Fiction is hands down the best move ever. god i love it. ¢¼¢À¢¾♦

I watched a movie last night that was good. it's called like .. umm.. Before Night Falls.. or something. i saw it on the independent film channel. It's about Reinaldo Arenas, a writer that escaped from cuba and went to new york and them died 15 years later of AIDS. man was it a good movie. it had johnny depp in it (dreamy) and sean penn (spectacular).

there's a pulp indie classic marathon on the independent film channel hosted by the flaming lips coming up. gotta see it. gotta see it. gotta see it. gotta see it!

today was in my mind, a wasted day.... and it's not even over. i'm so bored the only thing i can think to do is write, so that's what i plan on doing.

i woke up at 10 today, i was extremely tired after my long long friday night and staying up all day saturday too. i got up and had some cereal and played with the dog for a while. i got online and talked to steve, then harrison called cuz he woke up. we talked for a while then i realized i had homework, so i hung up. (yes i said goodbye first) i talked to natalie about my stupid leaf project that i haven't done much on, and she gave me a simple alternative to all my hardwork. go to puckett's nursery. so that's what i plan on doing. i'm sure it's a lot better than climbing trees with a pair of meat scissors trying to cut off leaves. (yeah i spent a whole rainy rainy day doing that) so after i realized i had nothing left to do, my overall mood dfeinetely dropped. harrison left to go somewhere with johnny and matt, so i had no one to talk to really. well, i talked to steve and natalie for a while after that so i'm lieing. then i watched timmy the tooth with my little sister, jesse. and that was dumb. i watched some simpsons episodes and then harrison called. he said he'd call me later from connor's but connor didn't want him to. i did nothing for a while.. literally nothing. i sat and stared. i probably only blinked twice. then i got online, talked to a few people and decided to write in here. harrison's finally home now. i'm really hungry but i don't know what to eat.

i still have my bracelet from the show at eisenbergs on... it makes me feel like i just checked out of the hospital.

i get to move into my new house in about a week and a half. talk about spectacular. god.. i'm tired of my cruddy little apartment where i can't even walk because we have way too much furniture for such a little cube.

i don't think i've ever written so much in one journal... and i'm not even done.

for the past week i've been trying to change the strings on my guitar but i can't wind them so that they stay, but i'm still determined. tomorrow's monday, and i'm sort of glad because now i don't have to worry about having nothing to do. it's a b day, which is ok i guess.. i hope mr. parrish is nice because photography is my only pick-me-up.

i did some drawings today, i'd have to say that they're pretty good. i'm getting good at seeing the reality in things. i know it sounds weird... but now that i've started to pay attention to things, i can see past the facade and see the reality in things.. it's weird, but helps my writing and drawing.

i've been thinking a lot lately about my future. sure you can say it's early, but in a year a little more than a year i'll have a car, and things will go fast from there, i'm sure. i want so badly to do something spectacular with my life, but it seems like i'm good at everything but what i want to be good at.

damnit am i depressing or what? where'd the carefree aubrey go? eh? eh?